b'A Reflective Journey: Exploring ecophobia and the performance, and creative expression in addressing the roots of ecophobia within effects of building connection with nature throughme and how I am able to use these exercises to strengthen my connection with nature. arts-based practicesDuring the first week of this module, I had my assumptions about what the module Ashley Khoo would be about. I went into the module expecting it to be very surface-level, and looking back, I realised how little I thought about my relationship with nature. Early Ashley Khoo reflects on her self-discovery and personal growth borne from her on, the main way this module challenged me was simply that I had to spend time experiences with Eco Theatre: Site-Specific and Immersive Performance. outside, stop, and focus on the natural world around us. When, in the first week, our module conveyor instructed us to examine the tree, trace a line and follow it What drives you? with your eyes, finger, arms, and then body, I recall thinking about how dirty it was and how I had noticed spider webs; as much as I wanted to participate in touching What drives me is creativity, curiosity, and a constant urge to explore. Ithe tree, I found it quite difficult to do so because of these mental barricades. chose to write the essay the way I did because I wanted to show both myCharlotte Akers writes:understanding of the module and how it reflected my personal journey. IWe are taught to fear the other: when we separate ourselves from nature, found out that I had a fear of nature, ecophobia, and learning that this waswe are prone to fear it and to feel unable to reconnect with it, leading to a real and valid concept helped me feel less alone in that discomfort, andhopelessness. (Akers, 2022)it allowed me to look at it with more compassion and curiosity,understanding it on a deeper level and how to slowly overcome it.Throughout the exercise, I identified with this phrase, in the sense that I was unable More than anything, I think what Im driven by is my desire to learn, grow,to bring myself to touch the tree, feeling helpless and guilty that my peers had done and try new things, even if they challenge me, or I dont end up lovingso without difficulty while I struggled. On the same day, we were also tasked with them. This essay was a way for me to honestly reflect that, to show howcarrying out another activity in which we had to give up control and be blindfolded Ive learned to sit with discomfort, embrace difference, and push myselfwhile a peer led us on a journey. While I had found it easy to be in control, when it toward new experiences. Growth doesnt always look perfect, but for me,came time for me to give up control, I found it hard, and the overall experience was its the trying that matters, and I fully believe that this module has helpedvery scary to me. On reflection, I can see how some aspects of my upbringing may me see that.have influenced my perception of nature: I was always taught not to touch random objects outside, in case they were dirty or contained a virus. discomfort with the physical world outside our campus buildings,It was my constant exposure to nature during this module, as well as the types of things like sitting on grass: many students just wont do it. (Schabergexercises we did, that helped me improve my connection to nature. One exercise 2022, p. 43)that particularly helped me explore my connection with nature without feeling scared was a mask exercise. We were given neutral masks and then instructed to In this day and age, it is not uncommon to come across someone who suffers fromlie down on the grass, wake up, and explore the space around us as if it were the internalised ecophobia, as it is something that many people may have but are first time we had ever seen it. When I heard that we had to lie down on the grass, I unaware of. The concept of Ecophobia, defined as the fear of the natural was very reluctant to participate in the exercise. However, when I put on that mask, environment, is a term coined by David Sobel in his book Beyond EcophobiaI imagined myself as a completely different person, completely disconnected from (1996), with its development appearing to be determined by how an individual iswho I was. After this, I was able to fully participate in the exercise, lying down on raised. However, Ecophobia is also not merely a personal struggle; it is a societalthe grass and touching the dirt. When compared to my previous experience, I can construct reinforced by narratives that separate humans from nature. As see how this exercise allowed me to feel that connection to nature. By donning that connecting to nature is more than just being in nature (Richardson, 2022), throughmask and pretending to explore the surroundings for the first time, this exercise this module, I have learnt that eco-theatre can provide a space to challenge thesehelped me step outside of my comfort zone and gave me a way to act as though I narratives and reimagine our place within the ecological web. By immersing myselfhad no fears, and act as if whatever mental obstacle was preventing me fromin this field, I have discovered the transformative potential of storytelling, embracing nature had been removed. Miles Richardson and Carly Butler express 54 55'