b'T3 Journal - Student Writing in Drama, University of Exeter 2020-21 Pauline EllerThe female body in conversation: how taboos,mance Art helps this rebellious push, turning the actors bodies into active political tools challenging the subject community and comfort shape our understandingmatter through raw and uncomfortable imagery protected of the female body, sex and sexuality. by aesthetic fascination and artistry (Foerscher 2017). You cannot look away, you have to engage. Charging ahead, Reflection on the creative process for the Practical Essay performance - here i amwe manage to create this level playing field through our personal engagement with the topic and offer the audience Pauline Eller a safe space to become vulnerable themselves. However, with such an immediately personal research question it becomes difficult to navigate between the person and per-former. There is a necessity to find a balance between the Have a look at the cover page of this journal again.I want to specifically talk about this comfort and vulnera- personal truth, the performative action and the responsi-bility following the creation of a level playing field. Bothbility we carry towards the subject matter and the effect we The image you see was taken from our Practical essayin our creative process and in the final piece, this notionhave on our audience.performance here i am. It is the opening image of our piece.proved to be an important stepping stone towards creating Overlaying the image is a reading of Margaret Atwoodsa safe and inviting space for participants and audience.A level playing field is essential to our performance, and take on the ever demanding expectations of women - (m) One of the primary components of our research were thewas essential to our creative process. In order to remove ale fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fan- interviews we conducted with members of the Universitysexpectations and open up conversations, we need to make tasies?. To her, even a womans own thoughts are dominat- Pole Fitness Society, members of the Ladies Rugby team,space for a shared vulnerability that is safeguarded from ed by these fantasies peering through the keyhole in ouras well as each other within our group. With the goal toexternal sabotage and exploitation. With our piece we hope own head. In the context of our final practical module ourcreate an open and safe space within our interviews, weto provide an entrance into that space and some tools to aim was to create and navigate a space that intends to resistdetermined that by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable wenavigate its strength.these limitations and expectations, offering a space towould be able to create an equal and trusting space. Our breathe and grow. Our practice aimed to open up conver- hope was that this space would then facilitate and safe-sations around the female body, pushing at what might beguard the vulnerability of our participants if they chose to considered taboo or uncomfortable. We had been investi- open up to us about highly personal sentiments and expe-Foerschner, A. (2017) Crossing the Line: The Disgusting Female Body gating how communities shape how we feel about our bodyriences. However, while preparing for these interviews, weas Artistic Medium of Resistance. [online] https://blogs.getty.edu/iris/and ourselves, how public and private expectations of thehad to recognise that this approach possessed the potentialcrossing-the-line-the-disgusting-female-body-as-artistic-medium-of-female body influence our perceptions of our own body,to sabotage and taint the attitudes and answers we wouldresistance/[4/2/21]and why it is so hard to be happy with yourself. receive. Sharing our own experiences would prove to be difficult without manipulating and forcing a narrative Our research methodology followed the intent to createand comfort level. We wanted to preserve the natural and performance from interviews. We invited six female identi- organic responses and proceeded to abandon the initial fying members, aged 18-25, of the Universitys Pole Fitnessconsiderations of a level playing field through shared Society and four members of the Womens Rugby Team, tovulnerability. Nonetheless, we were able to conduct our join the conversation. These interviews and our own explo- interviews successfully by encouraging an engagement with rations provided the foundation of this piece. By creatingthe topic in a trusting and supportive space. body focused and visual work that incited conversation and discourse, our research and performance process followedOur final piece approaches the notion of a level playing characteristics of provocation and challenge of perception,field in the performer-audience relationship. The subject in relation to the work of Gmez-Pea, Esther Bunting,matter we discuss in our piece is immediately personal to Peggy Shaw, and the tradition of Performance Art. Thethe individual, whether male, female or other. It is vulner-subject matter is both deeply psychological and physical atable and makes whoever engages with it vulnerable; the the same time, where an exploration of visual and textualstakes are high, for everyone involved. We are demanding bases simultaneously allows for an in-depth considerationspace by using our bodies and our voices as performers. of our research questions and offers stimuli for creativeWith exposed breasts, flowery vaginas, and bloodstained explorations around the topic. We invite the audience tosheets, we push at the boundaries and limitations placed engage with our performance to the extent to which theyon the discussion of the female body. The actors body and are comfortable, and to challenge and empower their ownvoice, our bodies, are exposing themselves to make room perception of their body. for vulnerability and confidence. The tradition of Perfor-4 5'