b'WhereTHE REST OF US STORIESWords Fail:A personal exploration of racial identityRIhavefoundmyselfinthewere setting us apart. Of course, DNA doesnt have much ecently, uncertain, anxious and daunting positionto do with it. Race, it is well known, is a social construct. of wondering: am I a person of colour?IntheUK,Iamnotseenaswhite,butthisdoesnot This self-inquisition and self-doubt aroseautomatically mean I do not uphold oppressive structures. as I considered my role in the fight againstI bear resemblance to those of the loosely defined Arab racism. Half-British, half-Lebanese, is it possible that I amworld, in which there is vast diversity in appearance. You both victim and perpetrator? For my dark features, I havecan be Black and Arab, mixed and Arab, white-passing not been spared of the infamous yes, but, where are youand Arab. However, my father would reject any attempt to really from?. identify myself as part of this identity. We are Lebanese, not Arab, he would say. In this case, in the UK, to what Recently, in the UK, the term BAME, an acronym forcommunity do I belong to? Those with a shared language? BlackAsianandMinorityEthnic,hasappearedwithAsharedhistoryofcolonialism?Asharedstereotyped increasing frequency in the media. This made me wonder,appearance as defined by the West? do I fall into this category? Is my racial identity defined by geography or minority status? In my confusion, I askedPhysical appearances aside, the national identity that makes some friends whether I should consider myself part of theme a minority in Britain has a long history for racism that BAMEcommunity.Afewsuggested,tomakemycaseshows no sign of stopping today. In Lebanon, racism is a more convincing, that I should get a deeper tan, or puthistoric fact, just as it is a fact of the present day. Palestinians on an accent. This was a joke, apparently? Other friendsand Syrians are discriminated against as much through looked at me, confused, as if that was hardly a question: ofslurs as through the laws in Lebanon which deny them course you are BAME, how could you consider otherwise?equal rights. More recently, celebrities in Lebanonhave participated in blackface in a twisted show of solidarity So,growingup,youbasicallysawyourselfasanotherfor the Black Lives Matter protests. Rich madames have whitegirl?anotherofmyfriendsreplied.Yes?InanliterallythrowntheirEthiopianemployeestothecurb, overwhelmingly middle-class, rural community, we wereforcing them to camp outside the Ethiopian embassy with brought up colour-blind. I never saw my own appearanceno shelter during the Coronavirus pandemic. In Lebanon as one that set me aside from my peers. At school, whenlike many other Arab countries, racial privilege exists that my girlfriends suggested I should straighten my hair moreallows majority nationalities and ethnicities to rule over often or pluck my eyebrows more, I didnt think much of it.minorityones.Ultimately,likerace,nationalityisjust Afterall, my eyebrow(s) do have a mind of their own.as much an imagined concept. The boundaries between racial identity and national identity are fluid, and the way WhenIaskedmy(white)mother,sheseemedshocked.they ebb and flow together will vary from person to person. Youre not BAME!, she said through the telephone, whyWhether defined as a member of the BAME community or do we have to keep putting labels on everything?. Betweennot, I am treated as a person of colour in the UK and as mother and daughter, I felt the genes that tied us togethera part of the majority (sectarian and political affiliations 10'